5 Friends Every Woman Should Have
By Michelle Burford
O, The Oprah Magazine | May 15, 2005
"Friends are the family we choose for ourselves," writer Edna Buchanan once said. I consider the "family" I've gathered—with five kinds of pals I count on for completely different things—among the wisest choices I've made. If you can find even one who embodies any of the characteristics that follow, you can consider yourself fortunate.
1. The Uplifter
This woman's favorite word: yes. You could tell her you're trading your six-figure income for a career in offtrack betting, and she'd barely pause before yelping "Go for it!" Don't you need someone who looks past the love handles to notice the extraordinarily gorgeous you?
2. The Travel Buddy
When the hotel in St. Lucia is a bust, one characteristic becomes all-important: flexibility. This agreeable companion need not be the girl you traded pinkie swears with on the playground; it's enough that she's comfortable with quiet (between gabfests) and is a teensy bit mischievous (as in tequila after midnight).
3. The Truth Teller
Intent is what separates the constructive from the abusive. Once you've established that the hard news is spoken in love (not in jealousy or malice), you'd be smart to seek out this woman's perspective.
4. The Girl Who Just Wants to Have Fun
One Saturday a pal and I—and yes, we're both over age 12—pored over every glitter lip gloss in a drugstore aisle for an entire 45 minutes. Forget the crisis download (for that, see the Uplifter); this partnership is about spontaneous good times.
5. The Unlikely Friend
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive," Anaïs Nin wrote. My friends—some twice my age, others half, some rich, others homeless, some black like me, others Korean, Mexican, Caucasian—have added richness to my life that only variety can bring.
MY THOUGHTS
I am incredibly lucky. My mom once said i have a few but they are all true. I praise God that he has blessed my life with friends who embody the 5 characteristics mentioned above. some of them in fact, have several of these traits, if not all. No wonder i can survive just about anyting. To my friends who are closest to my heart - you know who you are - thank you. My prayer is that i can be all of these to you too.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
what would love do?
What Would Love Do?
By Mike Robbins
Original
When answering life's difficult questions, it's important to call on love! Get three new strategies to keep in mind when you're making tough choices and feeling powerless.
Recently, I was reminded of the powerful idea of asking the question, "What would love do?" when making decisions or facing
challenges in life. When I think about my own life and some of the places where I find myself struggling, stressed out, worried or stuck right now, I can see that instead of asking what love would do, I'm often asking other less inspiring questions to myself like, "What should I do?" "What's the right thing to do?" "What's wrong with me (or them)?" or various other versions of these types of questions. Can you relate?
What if we did actually ask ourselves, "What would love do?" in all of the important areas of our lives, especially the most challenging ones? I bet that would dramatically alter not only how we relate to those people and circumstances, but also would alter what we did and said and ultimately how we felt.
We have the opportunity to pause and reflect on ourselves, our lives and where we are. Letting love lead the way, especially right now, is something that will benefit most of us and can allow us to listen to a deeper aspect of who we really are.
Everything I write about, speak about and teach is really all about love. I sometimes find myself a little shy, embarrassed or self-conscious to come right out and say it—somehow fearing that love seems too soft, too personal, too intimate or too mysterious. However, being authentic and being appreciative , and just about anything else we aspire to in life, are all about love—of ourselves, of others and of life itself. Love, I believe, is the most powerful force in the universe—yet so many of us, myself included, almost apologize for talking about it, thinking about it and wanting to have it play a lead role in our lives.
As we interact with (or avoid) our families, in-laws, friends and even strangers on the street or in stores or restaurants over these next few days and weeks, ask yourself, "What would love do?" As we sit back and reflect on this past year and begin to plan, dream and prepare for the year ahead, what would love do? As we relate to ourselves in the midst of all of this, what would love do?
3 things to think about when you're making a decision
As Karen Drucker says in her beautiful song "What Would Love Do," "Love has all the answers. Love makes no demands. Love will lead me to the truth and help me to understand…that life is all about love."
Here are a few things to think about, as this relates to some of the areas and aspects of life where you may be challenged at the moment:
Pick a challenging or difficult aspect of your life right now. What's going on and how do you feel about this situation or relationship? More specifically, what kinds of questions are you asking yourself about this? The quality of the answers we receive in life is directly related to the quality of the questions we ask.
Ask yourself, "What would love do?" This may be an easy or difficult question for you to ask yourself about this specific situation or relationship. Allow yourself to hang out in this powerful inquiry and see what shows up. You may have lots of ideas or insights, or not. However, asking yourself this empowering question will almost surely give you deeper awareness and insight for what you could do if you allowed love to lead the way. Take bold and loving action, based on your answer to this question. Allow yourself to ponder and consider this question
long enough that you really feel it in your bones. The paradox here is that it's not so much about what you do; it's more about where it comes from. If it truly comes from a deep place of love within you, you'll know it, feel it and it will be the right thing to do. Trust yourself and your heart—and then be willing to take the risk and put yourself out there.
These days, so many of us are ripe with opportunities to practice asking ourselves the bold question, "What would love do?"
If we're courageous enough to ask, to truly listen to the answers we receive and to act on them from a place of real love, compassion and truth, we will have the opportunity to transform our lives and relationships in a real and profound way.
Let's do it…with love!
Mike Robbins is a best-selling author, sought-after motivational keynote speaker and personal growth expert who works with
people and groups of all kinds. Robbins is the author of the best-selling books Focus on the Good Stuff and Be Yourself:
Everyone Else Is Already Taken . He and his work have been featured on ABC News , in Forbes , Ladies Home Journal , Self
and many others.
MY THOUGHTS:
what would love do - now that will certainly change the way i look at things and the way i respond.this is not going to be easy especially when one is expected to respond immediately. to ask that question every time you need to respond or make a
decision would entail always stopping for awhile to think before acting. and this would be double hard for people like me who shoot from the hips - until the question becomes a part of me. i will need a miracle here.
By Mike Robbins
Original
When answering life's difficult questions, it's important to call on love! Get three new strategies to keep in mind when you're making tough choices and feeling powerless.
Recently, I was reminded of the powerful idea of asking the question, "What would love do?" when making decisions or facing
challenges in life. When I think about my own life and some of the places where I find myself struggling, stressed out, worried or stuck right now, I can see that instead of asking what love would do, I'm often asking other less inspiring questions to myself like, "What should I do?" "What's the right thing to do?" "What's wrong with me (or them)?" or various other versions of these types of questions. Can you relate?
What if we did actually ask ourselves, "What would love do?" in all of the important areas of our lives, especially the most challenging ones? I bet that would dramatically alter not only how we relate to those people and circumstances, but also would alter what we did and said and ultimately how we felt.
We have the opportunity to pause and reflect on ourselves, our lives and where we are. Letting love lead the way, especially right now, is something that will benefit most of us and can allow us to listen to a deeper aspect of who we really are.
Everything I write about, speak about and teach is really all about love. I sometimes find myself a little shy, embarrassed or self-conscious to come right out and say it—somehow fearing that love seems too soft, too personal, too intimate or too mysterious. However, being authentic and being appreciative , and just about anything else we aspire to in life, are all about love—of ourselves, of others and of life itself. Love, I believe, is the most powerful force in the universe—yet so many of us, myself included, almost apologize for talking about it, thinking about it and wanting to have it play a lead role in our lives.
As we interact with (or avoid) our families, in-laws, friends and even strangers on the street or in stores or restaurants over these next few days and weeks, ask yourself, "What would love do?" As we sit back and reflect on this past year and begin to plan, dream and prepare for the year ahead, what would love do? As we relate to ourselves in the midst of all of this, what would love do?
3 things to think about when you're making a decision
As Karen Drucker says in her beautiful song "What Would Love Do," "Love has all the answers. Love makes no demands. Love will lead me to the truth and help me to understand…that life is all about love."
Here are a few things to think about, as this relates to some of the areas and aspects of life where you may be challenged at the moment:
Pick a challenging or difficult aspect of your life right now. What's going on and how do you feel about this situation or relationship? More specifically, what kinds of questions are you asking yourself about this? The quality of the answers we receive in life is directly related to the quality of the questions we ask.
Ask yourself, "What would love do?" This may be an easy or difficult question for you to ask yourself about this specific situation or relationship. Allow yourself to hang out in this powerful inquiry and see what shows up. You may have lots of ideas or insights, or not. However, asking yourself this empowering question will almost surely give you deeper awareness and insight for what you could do if you allowed love to lead the way. Take bold and loving action, based on your answer to this question. Allow yourself to ponder and consider this question
long enough that you really feel it in your bones. The paradox here is that it's not so much about what you do; it's more about where it comes from. If it truly comes from a deep place of love within you, you'll know it, feel it and it will be the right thing to do. Trust yourself and your heart—and then be willing to take the risk and put yourself out there.
These days, so many of us are ripe with opportunities to practice asking ourselves the bold question, "What would love do?"
If we're courageous enough to ask, to truly listen to the answers we receive and to act on them from a place of real love, compassion and truth, we will have the opportunity to transform our lives and relationships in a real and profound way.
Let's do it…with love!
Mike Robbins is a best-selling author, sought-after motivational keynote speaker and personal growth expert who works with
people and groups of all kinds. Robbins is the author of the best-selling books Focus on the Good Stuff and Be Yourself:
Everyone Else Is Already Taken . He and his work have been featured on ABC News , in Forbes , Ladies Home Journal , Self
and many others.
MY THOUGHTS:
what would love do - now that will certainly change the way i look at things and the way i respond.this is not going to be easy especially when one is expected to respond immediately. to ask that question every time you need to respond or make a
decision would entail always stopping for awhile to think before acting. and this would be double hard for people like me who shoot from the hips - until the question becomes a part of me. i will need a miracle here.
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