MOTHER AND DAUGHTER GET AWAY

MOTHER AND DAUGHTER GET AWAY

from the article "Renew Your Mother-Daughter Relationship"
Solve Mother-Daughter Relationship Problems
By Kat DeLong
Published January 23, 2008

"If your mother-daughter relationship has gone from blissful to bittersweet, you are not alone. As one of the most intense intergenerational relationships, the bond between a mother and daughter tends to strain during the teenage years and must adapt if the relationship is to survive. How old were you when your mother stopped being the perfect parent and became just a regular human being? The way both people adjust to their new roles is the key to building a strong foundation that will continue for the rest of their lives. Adapting to the new mother-daughter relationship doesn’t have to be difficult – it can be fun if you know where to look."

"One of the best ways to foster a more positive mother-daughter relationship is to start a tradition that will allow that relationship time and space to grow. And one of the best ways to do this is with a mother-daughter getaway that will remove both people from their ordinary lives and give them time to be together without day-to-day distractions. Whether you choose to go whitewater rafting or spend a week together at a spa, keep these tips in mind for a smoother and more rewarding experience.

* Go somewhere that is new to both of you. If one person has been to a destination before, there is a tendency for that person to “be the boss.” If it is a new experience for everyone, the playing field is leveled.

* Find a destination that is out of the ordinary, but appeals to both people. If your mother hates roller coasters and likes to relax, a class-four white-water rafting trip is probably going to add to the stress. At the same time, if the daughter likes constant action, a trip to a relaxing spa might not be the best idea. Pick an exciting city that has enough for both women – a trip to New Yorkhas activities that would suit almost any personality.

* Start small. If you’re not sure that a week alone is a good idea, take a long weekend road trip to a new destination. The point is to improve your mother-daughter relationship, not the amount of time you spend away.

* Do girly stuff together, even if you don’t usually. Facials, manicures andshopping are all great activities to do together. If it is not your idea of the best way to spend your day, try it anyway. You might just find that it is the time you spend together rather then your newly polished nails that are the reward.

* Try something that the other person likes to do. Stretch yourself so that you can see another side of your mother or daughter. You never know – a less strenuous rafting trip might end up being a lot of fun.

* Don’t go it alone. If the thought of spending one day completely alone together makes you anxious, bring some friends. Another mother-daughter pair can take the spotlight off your relationship and make everyone more relaxed. Just make sure that all parties will get along reasonably well.

* Lower your expectations. Life is not like the movies and you probably won’t experience many breakthroughs, but a getaway together can help you to see your mother or daughter outside of her normal roles. Try to enjoy your time together without looking for any “aha” moments.

* Remember that you are not joined at the hip. You do not have to spend every waking (or sleeping) minute together in order to improve your mother-daughter relationship. Consider getting adjoining rooms or scheduling activities apart for some of the time. This can lower frustrations and allow you to come back together with something interesting to talk about.

Mother-daughter relationships can be complicated and frustrating. If yours needs a tune up, take a few minutes to try to understand where the problems lie and if possible, understand how the relationship has changed over the years. A getaway that is structured just for the two of you can be a great way to get to know each other again as long as you don’t expect too much. Take a few risks. You never know when you’ll stop being seen in your traditional role as a mother or daughter, and start being seen as the gal who knows how to row into a class-four whitewater rapid."

MY THOUGHTS

Just be thankful for the opportunity to strengthen or restore or rebuild.