STILL IN LOVE WITH THE EX?

Q&A – Is He Still in Love with His Ex?
Daily Inspiration
John H. Sklare, Ed.D
Published August 30, 2007

Q: My husband wants to stay friends with his ex-wife.  He always wants to go over to her house to visit her and keep an eye on her, even if it means messing up our plans.  Is he still in love with her? He tells me no, but he says he’s all that she has.  What do I do?

-Diane C.

A: Hi Diane,

I don’t blame you one bit for being alarmed and concerned about this behavior – it would bother me, too.  The amount of time and attention he’s giving to his ex-wife makes me wonder about his feelings for her.  Of course, there is no way for me to know if he still “loves” her, but I tend to judge people on what they do as opposed to what they say. If he constantly attends to her needs at the expense of your needs and the needs of your relationship, there’s definitely a problem. Either he still has feelings for her or she is a master manipulator. But his behavior is clearly saying that you come second and will continue to as long as YOU permit it.

I suggest another strong heart-to-heart talk with him about this. If that gets you nowhere, make an appointment with a marriage counselor and start working on this immediately.  If he refuses to go to counseling, go by yourself!  It’s time for him to start acting like what a good husband should be – yours.

Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare

MY THOUGHTS

Does she even need to ask?  Duh!