Q&A – How Can I Make Sure My Marriage Lasts?
Daily Inspiration
By John H. Sklare, Ed.D, Lifescript Personal Coach
Published September 15, 2011
www.lifescript.com
Q: My fiancé and I are getting married this February and have both had our share of toxic relationships. Our relationship has been the healthiest we’ve ever had. We are deeply in love and want our marriage to last. We’re already planning on premarital counseling with our pastor, but do you have any advice on having a happy, healthy and monogamous marriage?
-Jennifer H.
A: Hi Jennifer,
Congratulations on your upcoming marriage. There are few things in life more satisfying, fulfilling and health-promoting than finding that special someone to share your life with. The key is to do all that you can to keep love alive and to mutually help it thrive. Let me first say that I have a very good feeling about your approaching marriage. I say that because you show an awareness of what an unhealthy and toxic relationship looks like and you demonstrate great wisdom by committing to pre-marital counseling. So you wonder what else you can do to improve your odds for success.
I have one suggestion that I feel strongly about and that my professional experience tells me works very well. One of the most powerful and subtle things you can do to improve your odds for a successful marriage is to have married friends who are in happy and healthy relationships. There’s something to be said about that old adage… birds of feather flock together!
Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare
www.innerdiet.com
Follow Dr. Sklare on Health Bistro!
MY THOUGHTS
Making sense of relationships, especially marriage, requires effort. It's not like instant coffee or noodles where you simply put hot water and, voila, you have something to sip or eat.
I've seen a lot of marriages that ended up in annulment and divorce. But I've seen more that has withstood the test of time, so to speak. They can tell you all sorts of do's and don'ts. But the best one I've heard is having God in the center of the relationship. It's not going to be rosy. But you'll get to smell the roses despite the thorns.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
What Will You Do If Your Son Won't Talk to You
Q&A - Help! My Son Won't Talk To Me
Daily Inspiration
By John H. Sklare, Ed.D, Lifescript Personal Coach
Published September 06, 2011
Q: I’m having a hard time having a relationship with my 19-year-old son because of his live-in girlfriend. She’s very disrespectful to me. When I tried to talk to her about it, it ended in a screaming match, and then my son won’t talk to me or visit. I love him and miss him. What can I do to repair the relationship?
-Cindy B.
A: Hi Cindy,
I’m sorry to hear about this situation with your son and I can only imagine how upsetting and heartbreaking this must be for you. Unfortunately, when our children’s minds and hearts become intimately involved with another, these kinds of emotional dramas often arise. From your son’s young 19-year-old point of view, I’m sure he’s struggling a bit with the balance of wanting to be a man to his woman while still being a son to his mother. My experience tells me that this issue will most likely resolve itself in time as your son matures. In the meantime, I have a few thoughts.
If I were you, I’d do my best to keep my cool and find creative ways to see my son alone. I’d be cautious about saying anything negative about his girlfriend and I wouldn’t respond to her disrespectful comments with anger or disgust. Take the high road, Cindy, and model the behavior you want to see because, at the end of the day, I believe your son will come around and you’ll regain that close relationship you once had with him.
Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare
www.innerdiet.com
Follow Dr. Sklare on Health Bistro!
MY THOUGHTS
This is really a frustrating situation. But a real one. My question is why is the son still saying with the man? If he can't leave home because he's still dependent on his mom, what right does he have to be angry? And the girl friend screaming? And they are not yet married? I cannot comprehend. Maybe I'm still stuck in the past. Or living in a dream world. I really don't know.
Daily Inspiration
By John H. Sklare, Ed.D, Lifescript Personal Coach
Published September 06, 2011
Q: I’m having a hard time having a relationship with my 19-year-old son because of his live-in girlfriend. She’s very disrespectful to me. When I tried to talk to her about it, it ended in a screaming match, and then my son won’t talk to me or visit. I love him and miss him. What can I do to repair the relationship?
-Cindy B.
A: Hi Cindy,
I’m sorry to hear about this situation with your son and I can only imagine how upsetting and heartbreaking this must be for you. Unfortunately, when our children’s minds and hearts become intimately involved with another, these kinds of emotional dramas often arise. From your son’s young 19-year-old point of view, I’m sure he’s struggling a bit with the balance of wanting to be a man to his woman while still being a son to his mother. My experience tells me that this issue will most likely resolve itself in time as your son matures. In the meantime, I have a few thoughts.
If I were you, I’d do my best to keep my cool and find creative ways to see my son alone. I’d be cautious about saying anything negative about his girlfriend and I wouldn’t respond to her disrespectful comments with anger or disgust. Take the high road, Cindy, and model the behavior you want to see because, at the end of the day, I believe your son will come around and you’ll regain that close relationship you once had with him.
Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare
www.innerdiet.com
Follow Dr. Sklare on Health Bistro!
MY THOUGHTS
This is really a frustrating situation. But a real one. My question is why is the son still saying with the man? If he can't leave home because he's still dependent on his mom, what right does he have to be angry? And the girl friend screaming? And they are not yet married? I cannot comprehend. Maybe I'm still stuck in the past. Or living in a dream world. I really don't know.
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