What Will You Do If Your Son Won't Talk to You

Q&A - Help! My Son Won't Talk To Me
Daily Inspiration
By John H. Sklare, Ed.D, Lifescript Personal Coach
Published September 06, 2011

Q: I’m having a hard time having a relationship with my 19-year-old son because of his live-in girlfriend. She’s very disrespectful to me. When I tried to talk to her about it, it ended in a screaming match, and then my son won’t talk to me or visit. I love him and miss him. What can I do to repair the relationship?

-Cindy B.

A: Hi Cindy,

I’m sorry to hear about this situation with your son and I can only imagine how upsetting and heartbreaking this must be for you. Unfortunately, when our children’s minds and hearts become intimately involved with another, these kinds of emotional dramas often arise. From your son’s young 19-year-old point of view, I’m sure he’s struggling a bit with the balance of wanting to be a man to his woman while still being a son to his mother. My experience tells me that this issue will most likely resolve itself in time as your son matures. In the meantime, I have a few thoughts.

If I were you, I’d do my best to keep my cool and find creative ways to see my son alone. I’d be cautious about saying anything negative about his girlfriend and I wouldn’t respond to her disrespectful comments with anger or disgust. Take the high road, Cindy, and model the behavior you want to see because, at the end of the day, I believe your son will come around and you’ll regain that close relationship you once had with him.

Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare
www.innerdiet.com

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MY THOUGHTS

This is really a frustrating situation.  But a real one.  My question is why is the son still saying with the man?  If he can't leave home because he's still dependent on his mom, what right does he have to be angry?  And the girl friend screaming?  And they are not yet married?  I cannot comprehend.  Maybe I'm still stuck in the past.  Or living in a dream world.  I really don't know.