Dating Mistake # 1 - FORCING COMMITMENT

Dating Mistake # 1 - FORCING COMMITMENT
from: Top 10 Dating Don’ts
Your Most Important Relationship Questions Answered
By Maureen Salamon, Special to Lifescript
Published February 06, 2011
www.lifescript.com

What makes a nice guy run? Sometimes it’s the blunders we make trying to be oh-so-perfect: texting incessantly, mothering him, oversharing. In this Lifescript exclusive, our relationship experts offer their top dating tips…

You’re head-over-heels for your new guy: He’s smart, funny, handsome and totally into you. That is, until the day he stops calling.

Everything seemed perfect – so what happened?

Often, what we see as romantic bonding 101 – exchanging “I love you’s” on the first date, spending lazy Sundays in our PJs, swapping sexual histories – backfires in real life.

Aiming for perfection “brings so much tension and expectation to the relationship,” says Carole Lieberman, M.D., a Los Angeles-based psychiatrist. And, she explains, that can sour a new romance before it even really starts.

Here are the 10 most common dating mistakes and how to avoid them:

Mistake #1: Forcing a commitment
If you’re just getting to know someone, pushing for exclusive status – requesting his apartment key, saying “I love you,” or naming your future children – may elicit a hasty retreat.

It’s probably the No. 1 relationship-killer, says Linnda Durré, Ph.D., a psychotherapist in Orlando, Fla. “It’s such a turn-off [for men], they will run to the nearest exit.”

And social networking has made it even easier to apply commitment pressure.

For example, rushing to change your status to “in a relationship” on Facebook, posting photos of the two of you, or chatting about your “cool new boyfriend,” can cause a real relationship problem, Lieberman says.

Though subtle, this type of pressure still sends a powerful message that you’re on a different wavelength from your partner.

Dating tip: Waiting before committing your devotion actually benefits women, research shows.

A study published in the January 2009 Journal of Theoretical Biology suggests that longer courtships offer women a better chance of picking a good mate, such as one who will help take care of the children.

MY THOUGHTS

this is too much. getting commitment on the first date? changing your fb relationship status after a single date? i don't know. i just can't imagine a girl or a woman making this kind of mistake. not in this country,anyway.